Posts Tagged ‘advice


To do whatever is right

I was thinking of the countless times in life we face the question,”what do you want to do?” All through life we fumble with these words that hold more than a million imperatives.

As a kid the all important question was,”what do you want to do when you grow up?”My answer to this kept changing all through childhood from an astronaut to an actor to a lawyer and whatnot.Even now I have no idea what I will be doing when I ‘grow up’ or even what I want to do.Such is the dynamic of this type of questionss(and in this case the immensity of my ineptitude).

And life does throws the ‘what do you want to do’ question at you ever so often.But there really is just one answer to these questions,”To do whatever is right!!!!!“Think about it,isn’t that what we all ever want or try to do?


Always buy a car that you can push.


Common diet and health misconceptions corrected

You know how healthy I am right?You dont?Well trust me I am very(very…) healthy!Ever heard of eight-pack abs?I have,like,a couple of ’em…together. ‘V’ shaped torsoes are for lame wannabes,the real deal is the ‘O’ shaped body.

Anyways, I get pestered a lot with questions related to diet and stuff so I thought I’ll answer a few FAQs here that will clear up some basic misconceptions.Read on.

  • Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
    A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

  • Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
    A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

  • Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
    A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.
    ideal balanced meal

  • Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
    A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

  • Q: At the gym, a guy asked me to “spot” for him while he did the bench press. What did he mean?
    A: “Spotting” for someone means you stand over him while he blows air up your shorts. It’s an accepted practice at health clubs; though if you find that it becomes the ONLY reason why you’re going in, you probably ought to reevaluate your exercise program.

  • Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
    A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain-No Pain.

  • Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer?
    A: Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual expression and peace of mind. If you stop, you’ll probably stress yourself to death in record time.

  • Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
    A: You’re not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

  • Q: What’s the secret to healthy eating?
    A: Thicker gravy.

  • Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
    A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about trying to live a longer and healthier life.


The bright Side

After a prolonged absence I return to the world wide web-much thanks to a maintenance guy(didn’t get his name,was busy rolling on the floor,laughing at his hillarious anecdotes) who fixed my PC and knowingly or unknowingly also reminded me of one of lifes most important lessons,to smile and always look on the bright side of things.

In life,every once in a while shit happens to you,you stumble or fall and you lose hope,the will to move ahead,to fight on.You just wanna skip ahead but you can’t and your miserable and because of that you make it worse and worse…Your stuck in a disastrous spiral of sorts.That was my situation.Then this guy comes along and his outlook on life and infectious positive energy jolted me out of it.

It made me realize that failures dont mean you quit they mean you try harder.Every dark cloud has a silver lining(except the mushroom cloud ofcourse,it has a Uranium lining).Shit happens,you can either sit and cry or smile take the positives and move on….Like im ready to move on now

That’s something I needed to be reminded,we all do once in a while.Anyways buddy,Im sorry I couldn’t get your name.Im sure you’re out there somewhere right now putting a smile on someone else’ face.Keep up the spirit and the good work.Thanks a ton.Cheers!!

An Outlaw,compulsively cynical and self-confessed geek.Passionate about art,music,culture,literature,etc.
Part-time poet,philosopher,writer and sober.

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July 2018
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Nonsensicalrambling by John Oommen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 India License. No part of the text or graphics on this blog may be reproduced without the permission of the owner.